Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize