I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize