I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
