my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
