you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
