Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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