That's intense
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
