I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
