Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
