In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize