evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
