I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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