Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
