I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize