I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize