The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
