Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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