Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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