what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
