Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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