theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm too high and old for this...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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