I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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