i may or may not be watching the land before time
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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