Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize