You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
