dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I think your dad took our porno
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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