Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
