its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize