I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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