you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
