he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
