I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
