Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize