Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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