Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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