Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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