You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
