Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
