Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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