We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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