I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
