i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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