dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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