My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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