I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
