Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
