She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
