She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
