id be glad to
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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