Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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