I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
