I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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