Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
