A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
