Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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