gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Text me some of your sweat
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
