Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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